The Mommy Dilemma

I realize that I'm not the first mother to face this dilemma. But, each of us is different and must do what's best for ourself and for our families.

This past year at work has been a busy one for me. I AM (with one full-time instructional designer) the E-Learning Department. Other than my full-time ID, I have no support staff and no back-up person.

For those that aren't sure what I do, I'm the E-Learning Manager at the local public television/public radio station. We're unique in that 18 public school divisions (SD) own our assets. As far as I know, there isn't another station like this in the US.

I'm responsible for the development of online student courses (textbook-independent, media-rich. highly-interactive). The courses we develop are the equivalent of a textbook, for which most of you are familiar. All of our courses are developed to meet, at a minimum, the Virginia Standards of Learning (VA SOL). Our teams are made up of 2 subject matter experts (for which I interview and hire), an instructional designer, project manager (me), and a content area review team (for which I coordinate, moderate, etc.) made up of multiple people from the participating school divisions. Part of the review process is a phone conference that typically occurs in the afternoon and can run as long as 2-3 hours. Currently, we are developing 4 courses: Algebra II/Trig, Biology, Geometry, and VA/US History. These courses are to be completed by July 31, 2010.

Another part of course development is course refreshment. Once a course is complete, it's not forgotten. We have a plan to revise ALL courses when new VA SOLs are released by the VA Department of Education and modernization updates. This process requires the same staff: project manager, instructional designer, and two subject matter experts. Currently, we have three courses that need to have this done: Algebra I, Earth Science, and VA/US Government. We haven't even started.

The third component to course development is the removal of some videos that were included in our original courses because the license we have to use them is going away. So, we need to review 8 courses (Algebra I, Earth Science, English 9, English 10, English 11, English 12, Personal Finance and Economics and VA/US Government) to remove the video clips and write replacement content. Again, this requires the same staff as original course development: project manager, instructional designer; subject matter experts. We haven't started.

Another responsibility that I have is to attend meetings related to E-Learning and travel to school divisions to assist them with planning for E-Learning. I also am required to present at local, regional, state, and national conferences.

In addition, I'm the regional Desire2Learn (D2L) Administrator. In this role, I'm responsible for being the D2L "expert" for all 14 school divisions (soon to be 18). In this capacity I do the following: coordinate/facilitate the creation of ANY new D2L site for new SD; hold monthly meetings with each of the SD's D2L administrators; provide escalated technical support to the SD; submit ALL technical issues to D2L and report results back to SD; coordinate all D2L upgrades with D2L (vendor) and the 14 SD; upload ALL completed courses to the 14 SD's D2L sites; provide D2L training to D2L Adminstrators; provide D2L training to SD staff (when requested); and be aware of, share/educate, and coordinate the demonstration of any new products available to the 14 SD.

THEN, last week we (my employer and the 18 school divisions) were awarded a $2,412,648 grant. The grant starts IMMEDIATELY and all associated activities must be complete by September 2011. With this grant, I'm now responsible for developing an additional 12 courses. This includes the interviewing/hiring of the following support staff: project manager, 4 full-time instructional designers, an assessment specialist, rich media developer, and 24 content developers. AND, act as the project manager for 6 of the 12 courses.

On Friday, I was told that I'd also be responsible for managing the implementation of a regional virtual school for the 18 SD which will run a pilot this summer, 2010. Yep, that's this summer. Well, if you're not familiar with a virtual school, no worries. It's the equivalent, if not more work, than running/starting a traditional school. You still need similar support staff: principal, curriculum specialist, technical specialist (it is technology), registrar, guidance counselor, and clerical support. This is NOT a comprehensive list, but you get the point. At this time, I AM all of those positions because there are no resources to hire anyone. With the help of some of my colleagues in the local school divisions, we created a 4 page document of items that include decisions that need to be made (by people much higher than me) and ALL items that must be completed before/during/after the summer school term. I admit that it was a bit overwhelming. But, I knew that since I've run a virtual summer school before AND I was the entire staff. It's not easy and I told myself that I'd never do it again. Ha!

There are those of us who love to work and love what we do. In fact, for me, I feel that being a working mom makes me a better mother. The time I spend with CC is special. Why can't I have both? I haven't spent all these years busting my butt to have to choose one or the other. This issue doesn't even take into consideration the fact that Nutz is going to be deployed for a year. Throw that on top of everything else (too much work for one person, who likes to produce QUALITY work, to feasibly manage) and you get one STRESSED out Crackerz.

And, this doesn't take into consideration that there is no one to "fill in" while I'm on maternity leave (at least not as of January 22) . So, does this mean that the expectations are that I work while on leave so project deadlines are met?!

What really makes me MAD is that I have to choose. For those of you who know me, know that doing things half-way is NOT acceptable. I pride myself in giving 100% (work and personal) AND it's not fair to my family or to my customers (18 SD) to give anything less. Hence, my dilemma.

What are mothers to do? Do fathers deal with the same issues? Just curious.