Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonishedto see that his bed was nicely made and everything waspicked up.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on thepillow that was addressed to Dad. With the worstpremonition he opened the envelope with trembling handsand read the letter.

Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'mwriting you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend becauseI wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have beenfinding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.But I knew you would not approve of her because of all herpiercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact thatshe is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion.Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailerin the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy hasopened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurtanyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the otherpeople that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In themeantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDSso Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you canget to know your grandchildren.

Love, your son John

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in lifethan a report card. That's in my center desk drawer. I love you.Call me when it's safe to come home.